By: Tommy from 4th Grade
What if Cloud was only the tipping point?
With one final Smash Bros. dedicated Nintendo Direct digital conference arriving tomorrow, we’re on the edge of our seats waiting to see what surprises are in store for us fans. The announcement that Cloud from Final Fantasy VII would be appearing as a DLC character was huge, but what if that reveal was only the start of the insanity? Here are a few more possible DLC characters we think might show up in Smash Bros. that are even crazier than Cloud!
1) Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor
I know, I know, who didn’t see this one coming? Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor seems to make it onto every Smash Bros. wishlist you’ll find online, and for good reason! The Tool Man has a rich history on Nintendo consoles, with his 1994 debut in Home Improvement: Power Tool Pursuit easily being one of the most well regarded games from the SNES / 16-bit era of gaming.
2) Spongebob & Patrick
Much to the dismay of many fans, everyone’s favourite duo, the Ice Climbers, have thus far been absent from the Wii U and 3DS Smash roster. But what if we were introduced to an even greater pair? Say, perhaps, two goofy goobers from under the sea? That’s right – Spongebob and Patrick. And for their final smash, how about an ice cream overdose like in the movie? I really like Spongebob.
3) My Friend Ryan
My friend Ryan is really cool. He told me his uncle works at Nintendo and that if he wanted to, his uncle would get Mr. Mario to put him in Smash Bros. He was a ninja for Halloween last year so I bet he would have a really awesome and stealthy moveset. Hi Ryan!
4) Tommy the Green Ranger
Ahh yes, everyone’s favourite Ranger. Tommy is the definitive Power Ranger and his look, fighting style, and attitude fit right in with the likes of Marth, Wario, and Game & Watch. He also has the same name as me – bonus point!
5) The Dragon Balls
Sure, playing as two characters at once like the Ice Climbers or Rosalina & Luma (or Spongebob and Patrick, perhaps?) sounds great, but how about controlling seven characters at once? Many people are clamoring for Goku to make an appearance in Smash Bros., but it seems to me that the real stars of Dragon Ball, the Dragon Balls themselves, should be playable. I can imagine it now: “I call being the Dragon Balls!” “Oh man, I wanted to be the Dragon Balls!”
4) Mike Tyson’s Punch Out (the NES Cartridge, not the former Boxing Champion)
I mean, if they can put Little Mac in the game, surely we can control the original cartridge as well! Who’s with me? The grey, plastic cartridge will no doubt satisfy the nostalgia junkies who view the Smash Bros series as just as much a trip down Nintendo memory lane as it is a solid party game.
5) My Dad
My dad could beat up your dad, so I’m willing to bet he could beat up Mario, Link, and the gang just as easily. He used to wrestle when he was in high school, and he buys me any amiibos I want even though he doesn’t understand them. Hi dad!
5) Banjo & Kazooie
I haven’t played this game since I wasn’t born yet, but everyone on the internet says they would be great for Smash Bros. I think the Dragon Balls are cooler, but I can get behind these two! I’ll be honest though… it kind of seems like they’re a blatant ripoff of Yooka Laylee if you ask me.
And that, folks, is my list of all the DLC characters I’m
hoping demanding to see revealed during the final Smash conference. Do you agree with my list? Who did I miss? Be sure to sign off in the comments below!
About the author: Tommy from 4th Grade is a figment of Corey’s imagination. He was created to poke fun at the absurd amount of Smash Bros. “predictions” and “wishlist” videos and articles that have flooded the internet since Melee. You can follow him nowhere since, well, y’know…he doesn’t exist and all.