Comedy Games

Ranking the Fall Guys Levels Based on How Bull!@#$ They Are

You know you're taking Fall Guys too seriously when you're left screaming "THAT WAS BULL!@#$". And these are the levels make you do exactly that.

Fall Guys might be taking the gaming world by storm, but it’s not without its share of bullshit. In fact, I’d argue that most Fall Guys levels have at least a little bit of bullshit you’ll have to deal with to secure the crown in the final round. And some levels are basically all bullshit. Then there’s a lot of levels in the middle with varying degrees of bullshit. Sounds like a perfect opportunity to rank the Fall Guys levels based on how bullshit they are!

Note: A bullshit level is not a bad level. A bullshit level is one where the odds of winning are out of your control – whether it be to RNG, other players, or the game itself not playing fair. Onto the ranking!

16. (Almost) Every Race Level

Including Dizzy Heights, Gate Crash, Hit Parade, Door Dash, Tip Toe, The Whirlygig, and Fruit Chute

fall guys dizzy heights

For the most part, these are all pretty solid levels without a lot of bullshit involved. They’re usually the first level of the round, so it makes sense they’re easy and come without a ton of eliminations. Fruit Chute and Tip Toe are a bit more debatable since they’re tougher, but once you get the hang of them there shouldn’t be much of a problem. These games don’t involve much RNG to mess with you and come purely down to skill.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 0.5/10

15. Jump Club & Jump Showdown

fall guys jump club

The rules of the Jump levels are just too simple for there to be much bullshit involved. You jump over the spinning poles. Not a lot of room for bullshit. Of course it can get tricky when platforms are falling below you and other guys get in your way. But by and large, these are some mostly bullshit-free levels.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 0.5/10

14. Roll Out

fall guys roll out

Roll Out is more boring than bullshit. The segments spin too slow to be any real trouble, and the timer can feel like it lasts forever. You only really get into trouble if you’re running around trying to mess with others, or get messed with yourself. Overall though, this is another one that’s too straightforward for bullshit to really interfere with the level.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 1/10

13. Perfect Match

fall guys perfect match

Like Roll Out, Perfect Match is easy enough that bullshit isn’t a factor. It’s might even be a little too easy. Each memorization round takes so long, especially in the beginning, it’s hard to mess this up at all. You don’t even really need to pay attention to the matches – just follow everyone else around and you’ll be fine. This one’s so easy to clear, you might not have any eliminations by the end. Now that I think about it, it’s kind of bullshit how easy it is.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 1.5/10

12. Fall Ball

fall guys ball

Probably the best team game (at least in terms of bullshitery), Fall Ball is Fall Guy’s version of Rocket League. Unlike most team games, at least here you feel like you can make a difference. Teams are small and the goal is simple, so bullshit is thankfully kept to a minimum. Except of course, when the teams are uneven. In that case you can just consider it the most bullshit level imaginable and we can wrap this up early.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 2/10 (or 10/10 for uneven games)

11. Rock ‘N’ Roll

fall guys rock n roll

This is one that shouldn’t be bullshit, but it can be. Rock ‘N’ Roll is simple enough at a glance – push your ball through the obstacle course into the goal at the end. The problem comes in when the ball physics just don’t want to cooperate. Or a dumb teammate gets right in the way and blocks progress. In the final stretch you can easily get doubled-teamed when the other two teams pair up to mess with your ball. And that is bullshit.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 3/10

10. Hoopsie Daisy

fall guys hoopsie daisy

The bullshit with Hoopsie Daisy isn’t inherent in its actual design or gameplay. You jump through hoops and the team with the most points wins. For the most part, Hoopsie Daisy is a totally fine, kinda meh team game. Until you try climbing the ramps on the two ends of the stage to reach a hoop by jumping off, causing the cameraman to fall over dead. Jumping through those hoops is just a foregone conclusion. It ain’t happening. Not when the camera decides to do its own thing every time you go up against the sides of the stage. Maybe one day this bug will be fixed, but for now, it’s bullshit.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 3.5/10

9. Block Party

fall guys block party

Now we’re getting into some bullshit. When everything goes right, Block Party is a fun, easy level – just pay attention and time your movements. Like most Fall Guys levels, the real hazard is the other players. It can be pretty frustrating when you can’t do a simple jump because you’re totally stampeded by like 40 other guys. Being trapped in a swarm of bumbling players while you can’t pull off a single minuscule jump without flopping on the ground is not a great feeling. The relative ease of the level just makes any failures even more insulting.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 4/10

8. Hoarders

fall guys hoarders

Another fairly boring one, Hoarders is no one’s favorite game. By the end of the timer, you have to have the most balls on your team’s side. There’s nothing in the way of obstacles or chance for skillful play. You just move the balls. However, Hoarders being so brain dead simple makes it an easy target for absolutely dog-piling on one unlucky (see: Yellow) team. You don’t have to win, you just have to not lose. Who cares if Red team has four balls, as long as Yellow has zero. And while this can be pretty funny from the outside, it is absolutely bullshit how easy it is to lose when the other two teams have decided from the onset that you ain’t winning.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 5/10

7. Egg Scramble

fall guys egg

Egg Scramble has virtually the same philosophy as Hoarders, just swap out the balls for dozens of eggs you carry to a nest in your team’s corner. However, because of the sheer number of eggs, the playing field is a bit more even and it’s less likely you’ll be completely scrambled (I’m sorry) by the other teams joining up. Unlike Hoarders however, the stage is much smaller and nests can become an absolute war zone swarmed with eggs, your teammates, and enemy teams trying to grab your eggs. It’s really easy for this level to turn into an absolute clustercluck (I’m so sorry). To make matters worse, unlike the balls, the eggs in Egg Scramble are way more likely to shoot across the stage at mach speed if you touch them wrong. Plus, y’know, you’re still at an immediate disadvantage if you’re on Yellow team.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 5.5/10

6. Jinx

fall guys jinx

Jinx has a problem that’s inherent in all of Fall Guys levels (that will definitely be coming up again later). Players’ hitboxes are way too wonky for contact sports to work seamlessly. Jinx works like a game of zombie tag – two teams have to out-survive each other while the arena gets overrun by Jinxed players. When one team is totally Jinxed, they lose. How do you Jinx someone ? By grabbing them of course.

Overall, sounds like a fun, carefree team game. Except grabbing in Fall Guys isn’t perfect. You can be sure you just grabbed a guy and he’ll get away without being Jinxed. Meanwhile, you could think you’re safe and still get Jinxed from a player nowhere near you. Whether it’s lag, or funny netcode, or any fancy way you want to explain the problem, the result is that Jinx just does not work right. The saving grace here is that getting Jinxed isn’t the end of the game and you can still bounce back. But still, I call bullshit on that one ref.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 6/10

5. Hex-A-Gone

fall guys hexagone

A fan favorite, Hex-A-Gone is the Fall Guys experience at its best – don’t fall through the disappearing honeycomb-tiled floors. As a final level, there’s not as many other players to get in your way and it mostly comes down to skill with just a bit of luck. There’s still opportunity to mess with others, but it feels strategic instead of unfair. So what’s the problem? Hex-A-Gone would absolutely be at the top of this list as a 0/10 (well maybe a bit higher because falling through like six floors at once sucks), if it worked perfectly, 100% of the time. Every once in a while though, despite landing on a tile safely, you can clip right through it. It’s not a super common problem, but I’d wager most players have experienced a cheap loss from falling through the floor at least once. It’s a bullshit stain on an otherwise flawless level.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 6.5/10

4. Slime Climb

slime climb

Slime Climb is definitely the most difficult of all the Fall Guys levels. It’s an absolute gauntlet of tricky obstacles and rising insta-death slime. More likely than not, this level will end up eliminating over half the players. And it’s absolutely bullshit. The level itself is challenge enough, but throw in 30 other guys crowding around and trapping you constantly and it can be downright impossible if you don’t have a good lead. Not to mention players who actually get to the top will stop to grief others into falling off right next to the finish line. This is by no means a bad level, in fact it’s probably one of the best. But there’s still plenty of bullshit.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 7/10

3. Fall Mountain

fall mountain

Fall Mountain is like the opposite of Slime Climb. It’s short, the obstacles aren’t tough, and because it’s the final level, you’ll only have to deal with a handful of other players. Which makes it all the more heartbreaking that you can 100% nail this level but still lose because you were placed behind someone else at the starting line. This level is so close to being the perfect final round, but because players can be put at a disadvantage before it even starts, it’s bullshit. Being the finale makes it all the more frustrating when a lucky starting position can make all the difference. And that’s without getting into how tricky it is to actually grab the crown at the end. I SWEAR I GRABBED IT, I PRESSED R2!

… Yes, I am mostly just salty because I missed the crown. I was THIS CLOSE.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 8/10

2. See Saw

 see saw

Oh See Saw. This may actually be my favorite level simply because of how totally bullshit it is. Get in front, and it’s one of the easiest levels in Fall Guys. You jump from seesaw to seesaw to the end – that’s all there is to it. But fall behind and get stuck with the rest of the pack, and it turns into psychological warfare that brings out the worst in humanity. You will definitely have some moments in this level where you just can’t progress because of greedy players. And you will also have moments where you’re the greedy player and screw over everyone else. “We can all get on this next platform if we just work together! Just.. STOP JUMPING, YOU’RE ONLY MAKING IT WORSE!” See Saw is an exercise in frustration, and the comparative ease of being in first just makes it extra bullshit. Fun, hilarious bullshit.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 9/10

1. Every ‘Tail Grab’ Level

Including Tail Tag, Team Tail Tag, and especially Royal Fumble

tails

That’s right, the most bullshit in Fall Guys can be found in not one level, but three. As we mentioned earlier, the grabbing mechanic just ain’t right, and nowhere else is this more obvious than the Tail games. Like Jinxed, the objective of the Tail games is to grab your opponent and not get grabbed yourself, this time over possession of a tail. And also like Jinxed, the actual grabbing is sketchy at best. These are already some of the worst games in the list – the timer is long and you only need to be holding a tail when it reaches zero, so the only real time that matters is the last 30 seconds. The rest of the time is kind of useless, because holding a tail during it only makes you a target.

Throw on some bad physics where your tail can get grabbed from halfway across the map, and you’ve got a recipe for bullshit. Royal Fumble is extra egregious for being the final round. There is nothing more devastating than having your tail taken in the last 30 seconds (because the rest doesn’t matter) from an unfairly large distance, and not being able to get it back even though you know you were in range to grab it. So congratulations Tail games, you are the masters of bullshit.

Bullshit-O-Meter: 10/10


Agree with our ranking? Think I’m a little baby for whining about how hard some of these Fall Guys levels are? Leave us a comment to let us know how bullshit we are!

Ready for more Fall Guys fun?

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1 comment

  1. absolutely correct, but tip toe should have a 9/10 because of all the people who just follow the herd instead of trying to find a path

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